Sunday, March 25, 2012

Sparky Sparky

When I was 8 or 9 (my mom will correct me) our housemate Kaye moved out.  Undoubtedly this meant that my dad was making more money (he worked 2 jobs when we were little and he was going to school) and no longer needed a renter.  More importantly it meant that my brother and I got to move into the "big room upstairs" instead of sharing a bedroom with my sister downstairs.  This only lasted a little while, as the room was soon subdivided to create a bedroom for the boys and one for my sister.

In that short period as owner/occupier of the "big room upstairs" we took full advantage of the general lack of supervision.  Jumping out of the front windows, painting things we shouldn't, etc.

As you do when you're a child afforded a couple minutes of privacy, I decided to see what would happen if you stuck something other than a plug into the wall outlet.  Why? You ask?  Why the hell not?  If you're constantly told not to do something there must be a compelling reason why.  Unsatisfied with the answer to why, you must experiment.  It is the scientific method and you all benefit from its discipline!

When you're a child and you stick things you shouldn't into outlets you learn a couple of valuable things that will serve you well for the rest of your life;
  1. Yes, it does spark and you should probably stamp out the carpeting.
  2. It fucking hurts and there will be no sympathy from your mommy, she told you not to!
  3. You'd better find where the fuse box is, and where the goddamn extra fuses are stored unless you want to get it when dad gets home.
I'm 37 now and I started teaching myself to arc weld today.


  1. Hopefully your trial and error with welding is a more positive experience than sticking something in the light socket, or lighting matches in the bathroom. Bob is a good welder, maybe when you're home you guys can make us a bar for the titanic, or metal ramp for the wave runners, or a metal pub table and stools in the water by the bumper boats (actually some of these are not bad ideas considering I'm just kidding).


  2. You did it more than once (which seems to indicate repeated "lessons" are necessary). One time you used the keys to my car!! I'm not sure I knew about the jumping out of windows - when exactly did you do that??